If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.
More here... Jack Handey (http://farstrider.net/DeepThoughts/Handey.htm)
My new fav... from the same page
If you're at a Thanksgiving dinner, but you don't like the stuffing or the cranberry sauce or anything else, just pretend like you're eating it, but instead, put it all in your lap and form it into a big mushy ball. Then, later, when you're out back having cigars with the boys, let out a big fake cough and throw the ball to the ground. Then say, "Boy, these are good cigars!"
Does this remind anyone else of "Deep Thoughts: by Jack Handy" off of SNL?
That's where I got them, in case anyone didn't want to follow the link
Ha. I guess you're right. Maybe I should actually read the second half of the post, too.
I guess the subject line was misleading, I *JUST NOW* realized that "qwutes" was short for "quotes of wu". All this time I thought Slarty had misspelled "quotes" and everyone was playing along.... doh!