Geek Humor

[Gary Mayer]

For those who aren't members of SIGSOFT (and for those who are but just don't read the issues):

Definitions from Software Engineering Notes...

Address: See indirect address

Babbage:  A British genius, born 1791, who invented computers and then discovered the First Law of Computers - they don't work.

BASIC:  The only high-level language that can be mastered in less time than any program written in it will take to execute.

Bit: The part of your program that is right.

Cobol:  A high-level language designed to enhance long-term employment prospects.

Erase:  An attempt to read vital data of which you have no backup copy.

[William Grim]

Okay, that crap was funny!

Is it bad when you understood all those?

[Ryan Lintker]

I'm currently taking a cobol course.  That description seems quite accurate.  The instructor is already talking about all of the jobs that will be created to take care of a bug in 2040.  I'll be 60 years old by then!  And to think that cobol will still be around.

[Chris Swingler]

My grandfather got called by Outboard Marine Corp in the mid-90s to do some recoding of their computers (for Y2K debugging, obviously).  He turned it down.  I guess he didn't think he was as sharp at COBOL as he was when he worked for OMC or when he graduated from MSOE in 69.

"How many kilobyted of RAM do you have?  Two-hundred-fifty-six thousand?  Are you kidding me?  When I programmed, we used punch cards and I had 30K at my disposal!  And we were dammed happy!"

--Beanie

[Jim Sodam]

Here's some more, I'll just post here so as not to clutter the board.

Signs You are Forgetting the Difference Between Your Eyes and Your GeForce

By Will Walker, Jesse Lee John LaCourse and Mark Vonhoffe

11. You look at sunset and think "I wonder if I can get this in 1024x768".
10. You blink and think "crap, more frame loss".
9. You stare at a leaf for hours and hours trying to discern the pixels.
8. You refer to people who use artificial things like Glasses and Contacts as "lousy VooDoo folk".
7. You avoid large groups for fear of overloading your Polygon renderer.
6. Looking towards the horizon, you proudly announce "I found the Clipping plane".
5. Your vision get blurry and immediately you think "crap, need new drivers."
4. When you drive and the other guy has his brights on, you curse the Gamma rates.
3. You seriously believe one eye has better OpenGL support than the other.
2. You complain to your doctor about biased benchmarks after failing your eye exam.
1. You sing the praises of nvidia engineers each time you see your reflection in a car bumper.