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The World's Funniest Joke -- Official

Started by Stiffler, 2002-10-05T00:20:00-05:00 (Saturday)

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The following story can be found at news.yahoo.com.

By Corey Ullman

LONDON (Reuters) -  After a year of painstaking scientific research, the world's funniest joke was revealed on Thursday.

AP Photo
[img align=left]http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20021003/capt.1033682184.britain_funniest_joke_lon125.jpg[/img]

In a project described as the largest-ever scientific study into humor, the British Association for the Advancement of Science ( news - web sites) asked Internet users around the world to submit their favorite jokes and rate the funniness of other people's offerings.

More than 40,000 jokes from 70 countries and two million critiques later, this is it:

"Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services.

He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

Back on the phone, the hunter says, "Ok, now what?"

Researchers found significant differences between nations in the types of jokes they found funny.

People from the UK, the Republic of Ireland, Australia and New Zealand preferred gags involving word play, such as:

PATIENT: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum."

DOCTOR: "I've got some cream for that."

Americans and Canadians favored jokes where people were made to look stupid.

TEXAN: "Where are you from?"

HARVARD GRAD: "I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions."

TEXAN: "OK -- where are you from, jackass?"

Meanwhile, many Europeans liked gags that were surreal or made light of serious subjects such as illness, death and marriage:

A patient says, "Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip, I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: 'Could you please pass the butter?'

"But instead I said: 'You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life.'"

Marriage-mocking also featured in the top American joke:

"A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course.

"He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: 'Wow that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man.'

"The man then replies: 'Yeah, well, we were married 35 years.'"

Death earned big laughs in Scotland:

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers."

And animals figured prominently. Take the number one joke in England:

"Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, 'I slept with your mother!'

"The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do.

"The first again yells, 'I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!'

"The other says: 'Go home dad, you're drunk.'"

The survey revealed other fun facts:

-- Of the countries rating the highest number of jokes, Germans, perhaps surprisingly, laughed the most. Canadians laughed least.

-- If you want to tell a funny animal joke, make it a duck.

-- The most frequently submitted joke, at 300 times, was: "What's brown and sticky? A stick."

Researchers said no one ever found it funny.

The findings can be read at www.laughlab.co.uk


Personal note: Don't the British have anything better to do than research the funniest joke ever?
Retired webmaster of CAOS.

Elizabeth Weber

I particularly enjoyed the joke about the preposition missuse  :-D .  Guess that makes me more secure in my "american-ness".

But I guess I have some Belgian heritage, because their top joke:

"Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks."

made me giggle too.
~Elizabeth Weber


hehe. That's funny because it has a DUCK in it, but elephants aren't funny. Those two kinda cancel each other out. However, the duck is more funny than the Elephant is not, so therefore it is funny. Ok, I shut up now.

Retired webmaster of CAOS.

Ryan Lintker

When did you (Elizabeth) read that joke?  It may be funny between the hours of 2 and 4am, but I don't know how funny it is at 11:30am.  The golfer and the weasels in the bar seemed pretty funny to me.
"You can't always get what you want,
 but if you try sometime, you just might find,
you get what you need" - The Rolling Stones


According to the post, I posted "The World's Funniest Joke" at 0:20 AM. That was the headline of the news story. After all the votes were talleyed, that was the winner. You may not agree with the results, but if you would have voted for the weasel one, it may have won.

Retired webmaster of CAOS.

Ryan Lintker

Actually I was referring more to when Elizabeth read the joke.  What she thinks is funny many times depends on the time of day.
"You can't always get what you want,
 but if you try sometime, you just might find,
you get what you need" - The Rolling Stones

Matt Osmoe

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

So they can hide in Strawberry fields... Well, have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry field? That's what I thought.

Stupid, but enjoyable. later. osmoe


Sorry about that Ryan.


Retired webmaster of CAOS.

Elizabeth Weber

ACTUALLY, I read it at about 12:03pm CDT, (which is 6:03pm in the UK), on October 7th - the funniest moment in time (according to the study).
~Elizabeth Weber


What in the Devil? we're not the Bloody British for fools sake.

Retired webmaster of CAOS.